Of all obstacles which slow down your spiritual development, the word above is probably the biggest.
There you see, again that "Why”!
The most resistant function of Living Ego (just slightly before the sexual one) is survival, of Emotional Ego are wishes, and of Thoughtful Ego is "why”.
"Why” is particularly important and useful –but on the Way of Ego. It will explain you the creation and development of human race, planet, universe, the functioning of the computer, … and many other useful and necessary things.
Nevertheless, on the Way of the Soul it most often represents an obstacle which stands in the way of many people.
No matter how smart answer you got on your "why”, that same answer will only prevent you from further remembering, and for one simple reason – "why” is actually your Thoughtful Ego, which is always in search for new answers, on more new questions. "Why” is the basic technique of Thoughtful Ego, with which it feeds itself with energy. Therefore, for it there are no final answers, only multiplicity of abstract circles which are among each other remember, where each point of intersection, at the same time the beginning point of new abstract circle, which, by time, starts to resemble needlepoint of your grandma from the table of the guestroom. And there is no end to it.
When gradually you advance in purification of your Thoughtful Body from Thoughtful Ego and its "why”, when you less and less feel the need for asking questions and receiving the answers, then gradually from your Soul and other Spiritual Energies – and through Thoughtful Body "on its own” will arrive informations and knowledges that you will need, so you could understand yourself, others and universe in which you live.
All of us are mutually connected with energetic threads, which are established spontaneously and they are the strongest among the family members – especially between parents and children. Because of that, unbinding of the connections isn’t easy and it always hurts – as much as you, so those who are connected with you.
Maybe you are not aware what is your importance for some people. You are son/daughter (brother/sister) of some parents and as such a persons you represent one of the most important "patch” or their Ego, and if you are social successful, then you are more important to them – just as in psychological, also in energetic sense, because they also get life energy through yourself.
On the Way of Soul you are like a ship which is floated for a long time in a harbour, attached for a dock, and which is finally remembered that basic purpose of his existing is – sailing. To start with a sailing against the open sea, you have to release yourself of the ropes which holds you firmly attached for a dock.
Unconsciously, you are starting with connection, but from your side, there is nothing with malice prepense or badly – simply, you are started to remember yourself and the purpose of your existence, and you continue to sail further away, they aren’t, so for that reason, you are forced to "unbind” from them, but they try to prevent it.
Parent – child relation
In psychological sense, parents can experience unbinding at several ways:
1. They could be felt deceitfuled and degraded, considering that you are "leaving”, you also notify them that they are not so good enough for you. Also, they can be malicious and jealous toward you, considering that you are going to feel much better "somewhere there”, rather than it was "here” with them.
When we say "leaving”, primarily we think on our exclusion from the mutually manipulations system, control and fight for the power which represent base of the society, although sometimes there can appear change of residence at the same time.
2. They can be truly concerned for your spiritual health or even you became a victim of some sect,
3. They can be sad because they still love you and they miss you.
1. If you are malicious, and if in that relation you was a victim, you are going to experience unbinding as relief, and they as a defeat, because it is not easy to find again good and stable source of life energy as you used to be for them. They will try to restrain you with extortion and guilt imposition, but if you are still obstinate, they will start to hate you, often making labour to hurt you directly.
2. They can be worried that you are maybe sick of some kind of insanity, maybe that some sect "possessed” you or even both of that, because on the Way of Soul you are changing – in a bigger or fewer volume you are changing previous way of thinking, behaviour, your attitude against the society, your aspect against life and so on…, what represent for them obviously visible signs that "something is wrong with you”.
If you walk on the Road of Soul within a frame of social recognized religions – as monk/nun, primarily your family, and also a society will be kindly against you, even in a case they consider that you are not quite normal because you are relinquished of the "life sweetness”. In that case, you still have social status, also many times bigger than you had in your "previous life – ("You know, now he became…”), what further gives importance for Ego of those you were connected.
If your Way is our of social institutions, reference according you will depend of awareness state of the society you are living it and it will float in a range from: "looser”, "fool” and the like…, up to "caution, sectarian!”
3. If they love you, they will ask God to keep you all the time you are on the Way.
Spouse and parent relation
Otherwise, if you are spouse and parent, then your position is much complicated because you are crucified between your need for further spiritual evolution and your obligations you have as a spouse and a parent. This is frequent case, because many people live just an ordinary life and then (mainly) about 40-th year of life, they spontaneously start to remember themselves.
Company and companions relation
Your company and the companions from the block, will also feel betrayed and deceived from your side, many of them will consider you as a fool ("Soever, I told you that …”) and you will be happy because of that, many will envy on your courage to go "there where your heart guides you” (although they will not openly show that), and maybe there will be more understanding against you by female part of your company.
Crayfishes in a bucket
Respecting that in Egoland, the principle "let it be with me as it have to be, but let him feel better than I” has strong effect, people are very "discreet and awake” on some other’s attempts to change and reach some other kind of reality.
Did you ever saw full bucket of tiny crayfishes?
Recently catched, they represent a crowd of tiny beings which is well out from the one side of the bucket to the another. From the surface of the water, down to the bottom there is mainly 4-5 centimeters of depth, so from time to time you can see one being from that tumultuous living crowd how it is isolating in his intention to reach the top of the bucket and to go back to the river, where it belongs. And when he succeed in his attention, once when he reach and catch the edge of the bucket with his tiny pincers, at the same time, the crowd of his brothers are attaching on him, making a cluster of their bodies.
At the first moment you are nicely surprised with a general desire of those tiny beings for freedom, and than, you awed realize that they have no intention to get out of the bucket, but to pull off the one who tried to go out, and to get him back into the bucket.
HOLLY MAN, SAVER, OLYMPIAN
Regardless you walk at the Way of Soul, you still have your Ego. The difference is in that your Ego has no leading role at this moment – as it had before, but you still possess it and it makes affect on you, but the intensity level depends primarily of your own and of understanding of this fact.
With accepting of the Way of Soul there is spontaneously appears loosing of interest for career making, financial and material fortune, glory and success in a society, (and about sex, as an obstacle on the Way, we shall talk in other occasion in a separate text)… and everything else what makes daily living of the human being.
Still, you are not outside of the world, but you participate in it so many you need to provide physical survival and functioning. As your spiritual development is carry on, this will gradually decrease until you find yourself in a state of total oblivion of your own – in a state of Illumination.
Meanwhile, on the Way you are going to find a number of obstacles placed by your Ego, so by this occasion we are going to describe a few of them, so you could obtain general impression about them.
Holly Man is one of the traps of Ego on the Way of Soul.
It happens mainly at religion tracers, because the position of "Holly Man” provides Ego a high place on the pyramid of the power, what is followed by the attitude: "Now, I’m really better than the others, because, as a Holly Man I am untouchable for the criticism of the ordinary people”.
This is so much high, good and comfortable position of the power, so majority never even thing about that there is something evil.
For those whose Way is out of the institutions of the society, "Saver” often represents a trap placed by Ego.
In that case, mostly assigned task for you by the spiritual hierarchy, to personally lead humanity toward better and happier way to the future.
Essentialy, to the message itself there is rarely something to disapprove something, because inside, it has a message of love, peace, understanding, equality and justice for all of the people and the like. All, but exactly all persons during connection with their Soul, will canalize message of the similar content. The danger is to permit Ego to make it to become wide and to imagine that it became divine Saver of the whole humanity, because there is a fact that you can not save anybody except the only one person – yourself.
Of course, from this story we have to exclude "Savers” whose message is related on approaching of Judgement Day and similar catastrophies and those who for their "believers” often have "ultimate saving” solution of preventive suicide.
Any kind of "messages” by "spiritual hierarchy” which contain idea of suicide or assassination of others and own followers, represents clear sign of seriously insanity.*
* – We need to mention that we use here – because of better understanding, routine term of "insanity”, it is completely wrong. Namely, the Soul can’t be sicken, but all "insanities” are originating due to Ego disorder, with whom we are identify as a Evolucional Soul Consciousness, so when Ego is going mad, we are also going mad, because of our identification with it.
Olympian is one more trap of the Ego.
Many times, tracer who tasted first fruits from the Way of Soul, gets a wish for remodeling of human society, this time based on new regulations – according to his experience and visions.
Since humanity is "unreasonable and it won’t to listen”, for conducting of those visions, there is necessary existence of some kind of power center. Interesting, but it seems that this represents the smallest problem, because for many power centers there is a need for any idea-guidance or ideology, by which it could be concealed their rudely need for the power. If at the same time that idea has also a human side, thereby it is better for them.
However, respecting that humanity rarely succeed to recognize a beauty of vision which is offered, then the violent reeducation is imposed as the only possible exit.
By the way, that is all for their good, isn’t it?
Respecting that Power has narcotic influence on Ego, because of dutties which it has in a center, tracer dedicate less and less time to his spiritual development, meanwhile power center very carefully – but permanently, feed and making stronger his Ego, assigning every few years new titles and graduations, which makes him to approach to the top, thereby binding him for itself permanently.
A humanity – because whom everything this is reflected, whereas it learning slowly, many times is exposed to anger and revenge of those which upraised them at the level of Gods from Olymp.
Do you remember of boring mosquitos?
Those little, boring flyers, were able to make worse your night way out or to make you to unsuccessfully catch them for hours and hours throughout the room with the newspapers in your hand. And when you got tired and accepted your own disability in front of flying blood-suckers, things are going to change.
Once you stop to defence yourself, commonly there is one of them who will land on your hand or on some other part of your body, plunges his nozzle through the skin to any blood vessel and starts to suck your blood. Let him to drink at pleasure, to make heavy, become slow, full and satisfied, and than just shake him off from you.
Sex is the easiest and the most beautiful way by which human kind experience ecstasy, and there is nothing what can entice a smile of sincerely pleasure on your face, like making love does. If you made one step further, so you accepted Pacification as your approach to the sex, then the pleasure is spreading on both of partners, it is deeper and more permanent.
However, on the Way of Soul, reference according to sexuality is changing.
At the beginning of meditation dealing, ecstasy you could feel during sex or sexual excitement, could be more stronger and more quality concerning ecstasy you felt during meditation. As time could passing by, that difference could be smaller and smaller, in one moment both of those could be equal, that afterwards sexual ecstasy slowly started to retreat in front of ecstasy of meditation, because meditation impregnated you with peace, freedom and cognition, which can’t provide you no one else physical experience, even sex.
As you continue with meditation, this difference will further grow up, until you came into phase when you start to experience sex as an obstacle to your spiritual development.
Some person which you could like, memory on pleasant moments from some previous relationship or sexual fantasy, are mainly causes of sexual exciting, however, in a cases when there is no "external factors” – because, let us say, you live separated from the society, sexuality will appear according to some its internal rhytm.
Once upon a time you received it with joy, but now …now it is the only thing disturbing you.
If you fight against it, with an agony you activate Ego, by favour of you reject and repress sexuality from your consciousness, so at a glance you went out as a winner. Next time it appears, you are going to react more aggressive and you’ll make an effort to retreat it more deeper, wherefore your Ego will sweep in a state of increased vigilance against sexuality. This gets you back on the Road of Ego, what is not good.
Remember once more of mosquitos from the beginning of this story. When you was angry hunting him throughout the room, you couldn’t hurt him. When you accepted your disability against him and let him tu make a victory against you, things has changed.
Something similar is happening with a sexuality during remembering process.
So as you fight with it and retreat it because it embarrassing you in a spiritual development, thereby – beside your consciousness, you hide it and keep it. The only thing which can exclude your sexuality, transforming it in a higher form of energy or whatever is happening during those process, is meditation guided by the Soul. If you retreat and hide sexuality, then meditation can not reach up to it.
Causes of sexual instinct
If you stopped with physical use of sexuality, then it will appear in two ways:
- as a sadness because of unrealized sexual relationships, and
- as a sexual phantasy
Sadness for unrealized sexual relationships can be very strong sexual instinct provocative, because men always rue for those women they could possess, but they didn’t want, so far as women always rue for those men they wanted to possess, but they couldn’t.
Sexual phantasies represent those way of sexuality manifestation which person didn’t experience during sexual activity, because they consider it as unacceptable according to valid social morality and person’s breeding.
Therefore, the most important of all is to let those unrealized expressions of sexuality to manifest into your consciousness because they represent schemes of new impuls of sexual instinct. For many people, this is impossible task, because sexual phantasies are always immorally – immorally according to your daily consciousness, so tracers are shame of it, afraid of it and therefore they repel it.
You have no reason for the fear, because as a spiritual tracer you already recognized the fact that you and your Ego are two distinct and different centers of consciousness, so if you get shame and hide Ego’s phantasies, thereby you just making it stronger. You don’t have to realize this as a responsibility divestment from yourself ("I’m not guilty, my Ego did it!”) because, karmical and a legally viewed everything what Ego do, you did it also already as a real fact for which you are aware during spiritual evolucion.
When you consciously let your sexuality to grow up, make itself stronger and manifest into your consciousness, just then it becomes accessible to Soul meditation, too. Therefore, don’t be surprised when you feel a strong need for meditation during or after sexual excitement. Close your eyes, relax yourself and let your Soul’s wisdom to eliminate an obstacle from your Way.
* * *
Previously told has sense only under condition that you, during meditations, succeeded to make a contact with a Soul, otherwise, effects will be negligible or it will be entirely absent.
How would you know that you made a contact with a Soul during meditations?
At least, it is easy. In a meditation of the Soul, you don’t move and you don’t guide meditation(s) alone – as you used to do when you started to meditate, but your Soul does it now, you doing nothing except you abandon yourself to the meditation.
All texts from this site without any changes and the reduction can be printed and published in both private and commercial, domestic and foreign, by all who want it. Publishing rights are free of charge, by prior agreement in relation to the selection, equipment authorization and texts.